i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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