what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
