she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I love having hate sex.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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