It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
