There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
