and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
