Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
