I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
