I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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