THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
