in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
