I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
