Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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