Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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