Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
