real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
