Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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