In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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