How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
