So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
