It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
