Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
