Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
