I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
