Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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