end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
You can't motorboat a personality
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
