just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
