You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
where are my eyebrows?
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