Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
