Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Couch. On fire.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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