What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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