what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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