Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
