We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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