New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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