Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?

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(503): View more from Oregon

I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"

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(480): View more from Arizona

you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open

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(214): View more from Texas

you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!

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(312): View more from Illinois

Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea

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(815): View more from Illinois

Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"

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(773): View more from Illinois

I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.

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