He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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