Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
