if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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