Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
