It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
how drunk are you?
Several
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
