hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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