I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
