that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
