I accidentally had phone sex last night
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
