a queef is a wish your heart makes.
two words: eviction party
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
