hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
