But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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