Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
