I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
