Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Hippo gnu deer
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
