I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
