Banned from zoo.
Again?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dick very happy bro
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
