Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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