well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
