Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
