Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
