apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize