I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
