he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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