you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
