kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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