She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My pussy is not your playground.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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